can you sleep?

It’s nearly one in the morning, and here are my fingers, stranded on the keyboards. In a way I’m glad that I’m not alone in this “can’t-sleep-at-night” kind of situation these days. Haha. My Twinnie, Jensen, told me that this is because we’re not yet tired (coz we’re bums! haha!) and we were so used of the school person’s lifestyle. Since I don’t want to get stuck in bed counting sheeps and all the animal population, I’ll just type away my thoughts, and just what I’ve said in my Plurk, I’ll blog myself to sleep. Hahaha! (Besides! I’ve read somewhere that if you can’t sleep, don’t stay in bed. Do something else. Let it be your lullaby, whatever that is! Haha!)

Just some random thoughts:

* I feel like I need to be more outspoken. I’m really the listener type athough I can be talkative around friends. There’s this thought that crossed my mind, that listeners could actually talk about a lot of things because they listen to a lot of stories. There’s an inner urge inside of me to be more “out-there”.

* Sometimes the anxiety butterflies still flutter in my stomach re: my chosen career path (for now), but just like what my friend Des advised me, “try everything. life is short”. So yes I will try. If I know and believe now that it is what’s good for me then it will be. And I guess it’s okay to be scared sometimes, rather than being too confident. The feeling is more rewarding when you are able to jump off from your fears (wee, that’s inspired by Taylor Swift’s concept of “Fearless”. Woohoo!.

* I think I’ve enjoyed much of my own company that I feel this time, I’m more excited and ready to be with other people. And by that I don’t mean having a boyfriend or something. As if! Haha. Now I just feel that I relish more the moments of hanging out with my family and friends or simply talking to them. Yii.

* I’ve been re-feeling my dreams for quite some time now. I know what they are, but I’m trying to rekindle my passion for them. I’ve been a calm ocean for far too long. I want to create big waves.

* Sometimes we tend to overthink, when we should have just stopped and tried to take the step and get moving. (Me, guilty. Haha.)

* I love our Plurk session tonight. On one, I said, 

“happy thoughts ang tatalbog sa Myra E at ang Fountain of Youth!” (I told this to my friends Marilyn & Maxine, on the former’s Plurk. I reposted it coz I thought it was fun, cute! Haha!)

then I went on with Maxine’s idea of naming a drug “Happy thoughts”, when I thought of,

Magbebenta ako ng mga nakalagay sa capsule bottles, tapos sealed in an orange box, tapos, pagbukas nila, walang gamot! may nakalagay lang na kasulatan sa bottom nung bottom, “happy thoughts. it’s in you.” wawawaw!

There’s something I’ve done not very recently, but still very fresh, that I’d like to keep in mind and heart always. If I was able to express myself in that situation, a very risky one perhaps, then I could pull off another one and more in the future if I want to, in other areas of my life, because I can. I can jump off of my fears, because I can. I don’t want to forget this because I don’t want to put in vain how you are inspiring me. You set me free.

Now, I can sleep. Hopefully!